This is horrible. I want to eat so bad but it's so...
Phew. that’s one craving I’m kicking to the curb.
No listen here, young'un
You have two years. TWO years. Just because the time might seem like an eternity doesn’t mean that you can, or even should CONSIDER stopping now. What you just did was and always will be unsatisfactory. You cannot, and WILL NOT continue in such a horrendous fashion. You will obey what you’re sworn to and NOTHING LESS. Watch yourself convince yourself into your plague. This IS a game...
Why did I let myself get this fat?
YOU ARE A FAT FUCK WHO BINGES ALL THE TIME.
Binge, Binge, Binge that’s all you seem to do-BINGE! You eat some, then eat more, then overstuff, then feel bad about what you could’ve prevented. Eat less, binge less. Eat more, binge more. Feel bad afterwards, feel good before.
still 170. still 170. maybe 169 but still 170....
Weighed myself twice today...it said 169.
So this is an achievement, but that does NOT NOT NOT mean that I’m anywhere near stopping. I’m working hard until my ultimate, and then when I reach that I’ll have to work hard to keep it consistent.
I. Am. A. Fat. Fat. Failure.
Crap crap craaaaap I ate so much of that salad I can’t get it out of my mind. Too much. It was like a good two meals worth. My stomach is still pushing to give me vomit but I can’t go over and hurl again. I shouldn’t do that. Too much.
The number on the scale went down three numbers...
WTF? I swear this friggin’ scale is toying with my head.
SO, I looked on the scale and was horrendously surprised by it being about three marks higher than yesterday. I probably shouldn’t have drank water and ate some cereal before weight myself…I have to keep reminding myself that I did so I don’t start crying in a fit of rage. Rage at body. Rage at the machine. Rage at me.
Okay okay soo...
I HAVEN’T LOST ANYTHIIIIING. Noooo. My body’s being a stupid fat idiot that refuses to lose a single pound. Dammit. But it has only been three days. I’m overreacting, but this mind is starting to consume me. It’s the only thing that I think about.
I’ve eaten W A Y too much today, I like I might’ve gone over the lower amount I had originally set for myself. Honestly, what is up with the more I plan the more my plans seem to fail…?! It’s starting to get really unfair on my end. I just want to be skinny so badly. I’m willing to do anything to get there, and that’s what scares me. The Planning’ll...
Eat your willpower, let it become part of you.
I'm starting to realise that the more I preoccupy,...
stop stop stop stop stop stop stoop. stop binging. I’ll be nice I promise.
I wish I could feel full up by the thought of food– Supersize vs. Superskinny