Secretude

This is horrible. I want to eat so bad but it's so late and I just can't because I won't stop but if I give in this'll mess everything up and I can't. I shouldn't. I won't. This is just a phase and soon enough I won't even crave food like I have these past couple of days. I just need to get to that point and then I'm safe. I just need to tell my body to wait and be patient for surprises. I will do this because there's no other way. I've got to do this. This is all that matters. This is all that's important to me. And having a beautiful body will make it easier to love myself. Having a beautiful body will make it easier for others to love me. So this doesn't have to be merely a quest for skinny, it can and will be a quest for love. But instead of love, admiration.

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 03:45:20 -0400

Phew. that’s one craving I’m kicking to the curb.

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Fri, 30 Sep 2011 03:26:18 -0400

No listen here, young'un

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 03:22:15 -0400

You have two years.

TWO years.

Just because the time might seem like an eternity doesn’t mean that you can, or even should CONSIDER stopping now.

What you just did was and always will be unsatisfactory.

You cannot, and WILL NOT continue in such a horrendous fashion.

You will obey what you’re sworn to and NOTHING LESS.

Watch yourself convince yourself into your plague.
This IS a game after all, right?
You wouldn’t want to quit, right?
You wouldn’t want to regret your days, right?
You wouldn’t want to hide forever, right?
You wouldn’t want to stay the same forever, right?
You wouldn’t want to be a disappointment, right?
You wouldn’t want to not feel them again, right?

Okay. So we’ve got this straight.

You won’t, dear. You WON’T. ever again.
And I’m sure that you are aware of when this’ll begin, yes?
TODAY.
THIS EVENING.
17.32 on September 29th.

You remember those rules we gave you?
We expect you not to forget them.
We expect you not to forget them because they are deeply ingrained inside of you.
You simply cannot forget anything anymore.
Such excuses aren’t satisfactory. not even CLOSE.
ALL EXCUSES ARE UNSATISFACTORY.
Go ahead, child. GO for and conquer your demon by starting TODAY.

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Sat, 17 Sep 2011 12:57:10 -0400

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Sat, 17 Sep 2011 12:55:42 -0400

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Sat, 17 Sep 2011 12:55:27 -0400

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Sat, 17 Sep 2011 00:47:13 -0400

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Sat, 17 Sep 2011 00:45:16 -0400

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Sat, 17 Sep 2011 00:42:53 -0400

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Sat, 17 Sep 2011 00:34:46 -0400

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Sat, 17 Sep 2011 00:31:42 -0400

Why did I let myself get this fat?

Fri, 02 Sep 2011 23:56:39 -0400

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Fri, 02 Sep 2011 23:56:24 -0400

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Fri, 02 Sep 2011 23:16:01 -0400

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Fri, 02 Sep 2011 23:14:44 -0400

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Fri, 02 Sep 2011 23:14:10 -0400

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Wed, 24 Aug 2011 21:32:29 -0400

YOU ARE A FAT FUCK WHO BINGES ALL THE TIME.

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 19:55:35 -0400

Binge, Binge, Binge that’s all you seem to do-BINGE!

You eat some, then eat more, then overstuff, then feel bad about what you could’ve prevented. Eat less, binge less. Eat more, binge more. Feel bad afterwards, feel good before.

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Mon, 22 Aug 2011 01:20:22 -0400

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Mon, 22 Aug 2011 01:00:53 -0400